Trimester 3
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Jo is pregnant with her second child, due on August 6th 2003. Her first daughter, Emily, is 8 months old. We'll be updating Jo's diary each month as her pregnancy progresses. Third Trimester: May 1st - August 13th 2003 May 1st: May 5th: Mum and I fitted some shopping in whilst she was here. I needed more maternity bras, as it appears I just keep on growing, so it was off to M&S for me. At this rate I'll end up having to have a bra custom-made to fit me, but I'm definitely not going to share my size with anyone. Let's just say that Jordan and Pamela Anderson have some serious competition! I managed to buy quite a few bits and pieces in Baby Gap, who had a sale rack full of wonderful clothes. I love their stuff, but it's very expensive on the most part - £11 for a plain white bodysuit is a lot of money when you can buy a pack of three for the same price in other shops. Thank goodness for sales is all I can say. May 8th: May 11th: When we got to the pub, it was about midday and I was absolutely starving. Fortunately, they had a spare table for us so I tucked into roast beef and Yorkshire pudding, while Matt had red snapper. Both meals were delicious - I had to try some of Matt's - and the roast potatoes were gigantic, not to mention delicious! I would have cleared my plate completely, only I saw someone on a neighbouring table eating lemon meringue pie and had to leave some room for a slice. That too was delicious, and I was so content that I almost fell asleep on the drive back to Mags' to pick Emily up. Good job Matt was driving! Mustard is getting more and more active, and my bump has suddenly gone from compact to absolutely massive. A checkout lady in Sainsbury's the other day asked me what it was like carrying twins! I assured her that I only have one baby on the way, but she insisted that I must be having two and that the doctors have got it wrong. Now, common sense assures me that, having had a scan at 20 weeks, there's no way a second baby could have been missed. Paranoia, however, did make me wonder about it for a few hours before dismissing it. Still, I'm glad I'm having another scan at 34 weeks because I'll have confirmation that there's just the one little baby in there! May 14th: Eirwen says that the baby is just over 2cm bigger than expected at 28 weeks, but that it could even itself out in future weeks. I hope it does, although she did point out that second babies are generally bigger than the first, and that I could end up with a 9½lb baby. This is not a prospect I relish, and if that's the case I will almost certainly end up having to have a caesarean. May 15th: I have been given a belt to wear, which goes around my hips and tightens to keep my legs close together, and been given lots of advice. Basically, I've got to keep my legs together as much as possible (if only I'd learnt to do that before I got pregnant!) and not lift anything heavy. I've also been given some massage tips, so Matt now has to massage me every night on either side. If it didn't hurt to much, I'd enjoy the massage side of things! May 22nd: So, I am feeling very sorry for myself and Matt has taken to sleeping on the sofa. This is partly because I've hurt him a couple of times by using him to drag myself over in bed (he has a few bruises thanks to my 'vice-like grip'), and partly because he's worried about hurting me if he rolls over and catches me in the night. On the plus side of life, Emily is walking more and more, and she can now turn around and change direction on her feet. The look of delight on her face as she manages more and more is priceless, and I can't help but smile when I look at her. I wonder if having two children will bring me twice as much pleasure? May 27th: Some days it seems that everything on the TV is about babies, and my hormones go into overdrive as my fears are played out in front of me. Is it just me, or do all pregnant women feel this way? May 28th: I've now been given another belt which wraps around my lower back and thighs in the hope that, worn in conjunction with the other one, will help to ease the pain. The only problem with the new belt is its size - it's so wide that there's no chance of fitting it underneath my clothes. So, I now get to walk around getting funny looks from people who must wonder what on earth I'm wearing! Still, if it helps me I don't care - I just want to not be in pain. The physio did tell me that SPD can take up to six months after the baby is born to go away completely. This shattered my dreams of having the pain miraculously disappear once Mustard is born, but it's not going to stop me hoping that I'm going to be one of the lucky ones for whom it goes sooner rather than later. Following that, I had an appointment with Eirwen this afternoon and learnt that, much to my distress, she is returning to the hospital next month to go back on the labour ward, so I'll have a new midwife from now on. I'm disappointed that it won't be Eirwen seeing me through to the end of my pregnancy and then visiting me at home once the baby is born, because I like and trust her. I don't want to have to get to know a new midwife, I want to keep the old one! On the plus side, perhaps I'll get Eirwen when I go into hospital to have Mustard, which would be nice. May 31st: I overdid things and ended up having to sit down in a big, comfy chair for a while to try and ease my pain, but it was definitely worth it. In the evening, my mum took Emily home and we stayed at Matt's mums and had a barbecue with Matt's family. We all sat out in the garden eating and talking, and it was great to relax and have adult company. By the time it got to 10pm, I was absolutely exhausted and couldn't wait to go home, although it took about half an hour to persuade Matt to leave. He eventually relented and off we went - it only took me about 10 minutes to fall asleep once I'd gone to bed and I managed four hours sleep before having to get up for the loo. I didn't sleep much after that because of the SPD, but at least I had lots of happy thoughts from Emily's birthday to keep me occupied as I lay awake waiting for the dawn chorus to commence. Bliss! June 1st: June 6th: Emily is adjusting to my not being able to pick her up all of the time. Sometimes I can manage, and sometimes it's too painful to do. We don't go for any walks unless it's round the supermarket, and even these trips are getting harder to do. I'm going to have to stop driving completely soon - my bump is almost touching the wheel thanks to my short, stumpy legs, and stretching my legs just hurts my pelvis. I think Matt is getting sick of asking me how I am feeling every day - the answer is always along the lines of 'lots of pain' and my eyes filling with tears as I start to feel sorry for myself. I need to pull myself together if I'm going to get through the weeks until the birth without having a breakdown. June 11th: At the ante-natal clinic there were loads of women waiting for scans, most of whom were clutching bottles of water and crossing their legs whilst waiting their turn. Looking at them, I was glad it wasn't me, although the sight of one very pregnant, uncomfortable-looking woman did remind me that I've got to have a scan myself soon, and keeping lots of water in when you've got a good-size baby jumping on your bladder can't be much fun. Left Matt and Emily in the waiting area when Sue came to get me - Emily was heading off in the direction of a giant teddy bear with a big grin on her face! After getting me to do some basic exercises (standing on one leg and lifting the other one in the air proved impossible), and doing some physio on me, Sue suggested she get me some sticks to help me walk. She said that crutches would be bad, as people tend to swing themselves about on them and not use them properly, so she went and got me two metal sticks and adjusted them to the right height for me. I then had to practice walking with them in the corridor with loads of people giving me funny looks as I did so. Sue also told me to rest my legs as much as possible now, which means no shopping trips - how will I manage!? She even came out with me to make sure that Matt is aware of what I should be doing, so I can't cheat. I guess it's going to be extremely boring and tedious until the baby arrives. On the plus side of life, our garden is being given a revamp over the coming week. At the moment we have a little wooden-framed outhouse that leads off the living room, a very uneven patio and a forest where the lawn should be. It's been like that since we moved into the house, as the people who lived here before us were apparently very keen on DIY, but didn't actually manage to do any of it very well. When we first moved in we found we had to have the central heating and water fixed, as there was no hot water unless you used the emergency heater, and the radiators didn't work. Anyway, we've found some lovely guys who are going to come and take the outhouse down, lay a proper patio and turf the lawn for us. Once that's done, Emily will finally be able to play outside. June 18th: June 23rd: I was naughty at the weekend and went into town with mum and Emily to do some shopping. We took our time, mostly because I can't walk fast, and stopped for lots of breaks, so I managed okay. We bought Emily her first proper pair of shoes and then went to Gap, who had a sale on some of their baby clothes. I managed to spend £70 on clothes for Emily and Mustard (the nickname has stuck!), and consoled myself with the knowledge that, if they weren't in the sale they would have cost almost double that. Emily managed to get a teddy bear into the bargain too, because we took her out of her buggy to stretch her legs whilst we were in the shop, and she promptly found a stand loaded with teddy bears and proceeded to point and shout 'ted, ted, ted!' at them. After removing her from their vicinity several times, only to find she seemed to have acquired special teddy-seeking abilities, I gave in and bought her one. I just hope she plays with him more than once! We didn't do much else that weekend - I sat around doing as little as possible (I really paid for that trip to town with my SPD getting worse) while mum and Matt looked after Emily and cooked, cleaned and looked after me too! Mum cooked us some meals before she left, so I don't have to worry about what we're going to eat for the next couple of days. I really wish she didn't live so far away. Oh yes, and the garden has been finished. We have to water the turf in for a week or so (sprinkler on for as long as possible each day), and not run up and down the patio - chance would be a fine thing! - until it's settled properly and the cement underneath the slabs has dried out properly. It looks great out there now, and am no longer embarrassed by what the neighbours must think when they look out of their bedroom windows into our garden. June 25th: The nurse did lots of measurements using the computer and after about 20 minutes we were allowed out into the waiting room to wait for a consultant to come and talk to us. I went straight to the loo and, five minutes after coming out of the toilet, was asked if I could please do a urine sample! Fortunately this proved to be easy as it was only 10 minutes until I needed the loo again. The specialist showed us the baby's measurements on a centile scale, and her body was on the 90th centile, while her head was over the top centile. They therefore think that I will probably have difficulty delivering naturally, although I did say that I would prefer to try VBAC if possible. They've arranged for me to go back for another scan at 38 weeks to see how things are progressing and we'll be able to discuss what's best for the baby and me then. I have to admit, though, that it looks more and more likely that an elective caesarean will be how Mustard makes her entrance into the world. I guess it doesn't really matter how it happens, as long as she and I are both safe and sound at the end of it all. July 1st: Emily is being a real star, and apart from the odd tantrum when I can't do things with her, has adapted to my lack of mobility really well. I still feel awful about not being able to take her out anywhere - even a trip to the shops for bread is a no-no at the moment. I can't even sit out in the garden with her on my own as the gardeners put small stones around the edge of the patio, and she picks them up and stuffs them in her mouth. It doesn't help that all of the neighbourhood cats (including ours) think it's a giant toilet! We're trying to think of a solution - we'll probably scoop all of the small stones up and put big cobbles down, as we can't cement over it because we need some drainage around the patio area. My only worry then is that Emily will simply start throwing the cobbles and break a window or something. Matt says I think too much... July 7th: We re-organised the nursery, as mum went to Ikea and brought back a children's wardrobe - I've wanted one for ages, just couldn't find exactly what I wanted. Thank goodness for Swedish designs, as it's perfect. Mum also did a huge pile of ironing whilst she was here - thanks to my SPD I have a legitimate excuse not to do it at the moment, as I'm not supposed to be on my feet much. Having said that, I avoid the ironing whenever I can anyway, because I hate doing it. If I can get away with folding things flat once they're dry and not ironing them, then I will. July 9th: July 16th: Anyway, listen to me going on and on. At least it's not permanent, and I'm a lot better off than some people. Being temporarily disabled has really opened my eyes to what some people have to go through, and I should be a lot more grateful for what I've got. Am seeing Janet again this afternoon - weekly check-ups now until baby is born. Let's hope I find her easier to talk to today. July 17th: Next thing I know, she's left the room to ask one of the receptionists how to use the phone, and when she comes back she proceeds to phone the hospital. All of this without a word to us (Matt and Emily came with me today) about what she's doing. When she's finished talking on the phone, she carries on ignoring us and writes some notes in my pregnancy book. Finally, she tells us that she's arranged for me to go to the maternity ward this afternoon for one of the doctors to examine my scar to make sure it's all okay. I am taken aback by this, but Matt and I decide it can't hurt to let someone give me the once-over, so we arrange for Matt's sister Sara to take Emily for us while we go to the hospital. Once we got to the maternity wing, nobody seemed to be expecting us at all, so we sat and waited for an hour before a midwife came to fetch us. She put us in a small side-room and did my blood pressure and pulse, then said a doctor would be with us as soon as possible. By the time it got to 5.30pm (we'd arrived at 3.40pm), Matt and I decided that he should go and pick Emily up and give her some dinner. I could then ring him and let him know what was happening. Fortunately, the doctor chose that precise moment to arrive. She took lots of notes, prodded and poked my scar, and then said she needed to go and speak to the registrar. Once she'd left the room, I got very agitated, and insisted to Matt that there was no way I was going to stay in hospital overnight when I wasn't actually in any pain (apart from my SPD, of course). The doctor came back and said they wanted to monitor the baby's heartbeat and keep me in overnight. I said that there was no point me staying in overnight when my scar wasn't causing me any pain at the time, and the doctor said that my midwife had said I was in a lot of pain with it and should therefore stay, and then left the room for Matt and I to decide what we were doing. By this point, I was extremely fed up to say the least, and Matt and I decided we'd have the baby monitored and then go home. After all, what's the point in taking up a bed and valuable staff time when you're not in any pain and the wards are packed? So, the long and short of it is that the baby was monitored, all was fine, and I discharged myself from the ward. I am angry that Janet didn't ask me what I wanted to do, didn't tell us what she was doing, and over-exaggerated the problem to the hospital. I know she was doing her job and looking after me, but the whole thing seemed to be a big waste of time for both the hospital staff and us. Still, I know I tend to over-react to things at the moment, so perhaps it's six of one and half a dozen of the other in this case. One of the hospital midwives did tell me what to expect if my scar ruptured internally - either a lot of pain, or feeling very faint and disorientated. She said that if it occurred, which was highly unlikely, to call 999 immediately. She also put my mind at rest about discharging myself, and told me that caesarean scars very rarely ruptured and, if they were going to do, usually did so during labour. What an eventful afternoon - can't complain that I didn't get to do anything different this week, can I?!! July 23rd: This morning, I had to go to the antenatal clinic for a scan, so Sara took Emily for us. Apparently Emily played nicely with Oliver, who is just over four months old, drank some of his milk, and then walked into the village, so she's had lots of fresh air today as well. I can't wait until I can go out and do things with her again - it feels like such a long time since I was able to do anything 'normal' with Emily. During the scan, the midwife chatted away to us and took all of the baby's measurements. Apparently her head is still at the top end of the centile chart, her shoulders are very big and she has a huge belly (must be taking after Daddy!). All of the measurements indicate we are going to be having a 9.5 - 10lb baby, so she's going to be BIG! We managed to get confirmation that it's definitely a girl, so we'd better get our thinking caps on and get some names ready! After the scan we saw the consultant, Mr Sutton, who is really lovely. He talked us through all of our options and said that if I wanted a caesarean, I could have one. We eventually decided on trying a natural birth, and Mr Sutton said that if I don't progress at 1cm dilated per hour, I would be given a caesarean immediately. He was very reassuring about the whole thing, and said that there is no way I'd be left to labour as long as I did with Emily. We have been booked in for a caesarean on 13th August in case the baby doesn't arrive by her due date, which is the 6th. I won't be induced because that can be a long process, and Mr Sutton doesn't feel that would be appropriate in my case. So, all in all, although I still feel nervous about both options, I feel much more settled about the whole thing. Matt has also been very supportive about it, and I feel we've made the right decision about what to do. Fingers crossed that I have a natural, pain-free as much as possible, labour and don't have to have stitches or anything like that. Watch this space! July 30th: Emily loves watching babies on the television, and we’ve both been watching ‘The Baby Whisperer’ where a woman comes into people’s homes to help them with problems they are having with their children. Most of it’s common sense and involves being firm with the child, but being a mum myself now I know how difficult it can be to not give in when your child is upset about something! Emily has been out lots this week. Mags had her as usual on Sunday, and they went to the park, fed the ducks - one of Emily’s favourite things - and played all morning. On Monday, Sara took her for the afternoon. She walked into the village with Emily and Oliver, and Emily walked some of the way herself, getting in an out of the buggy as and when she wanted to. I have to confess to feeling quite jealous of that, as I haven’t been able to do that with her yet. Once she started walking properly on her own, I stopped being able to do so. Ironic, isn’t it? Still, hopefully I’ll soon be able to do things like that with her. On Tuesday, Beth took Emily for a few hours after she’d finished doing the cleaning. Emily came home absolutely exhausted, but very happy. She drank all of her bedtime bottle, and then woke up just after midnight and demanded another eight ounces! I don’t know what she’d been up to at Beth’s, but she’d obviously worked up a good appetite! July 31st Had to make an appointment to see my GP on Tuesday next week, as the midwife is full up on Wednesday. I have to admit I was going to do that anyway, as I think I’d rather see my GP - I just feel more comfortable with her. August 13th Saw my GP this morning - all is well, Mustard still isn’t engaged at all, and she has turned her back towards mine a little more. Am going to be trying the ‘get down on all fours and swing your hips from side to side’ method of encouraging her to move into a better position over the next few days. My official due date is tomorrow, but it doesn’t look like Mustard is in any hurry to make an appearance. I’m starting to worry that I’ll end up not going into labour naturally, but having the caesarean that’s booked for a week tomorrow. The heat is making me very grumpy and uncomfortable, and Emily isn’t very happy with it either. Fortunately, Sara offered to take her out yesterday afternoon and they went up to Matt’s mums, where the children spent a happy afternoon in the garden playing in the paddling pool and generally having a good time. Apparently, Emily loves running through the sprinkler. I can hardly wait until I can get around properly again and watch her doing those kinds of things. I console myself with the knowledge that Emily is having a good time and enjoying herself, and I get to relax a bit at home while she’s out. It is a bit galling, though, when you realise that your child has a better social life than you do! I have to say that Sara has been a real support to us, particularly over the last few weeks. She rings frequently to check how I’m doing, takes Emily for a few hours whenever she can, and gives me faith that I can get through all of this and come out the other side in one piece. All this, and she has two children of her own and manages to look good all the time! Everyone is helping out when they can, but Sara seems to be like a Super-Mum-and-Sister all rolled into one. Her support is invaluable. I can’t even begin to explain how much it means to me, and I’m going to have to find a way of saying a special thank you to her. Just writing about it makes me feel very emotional - I really am lucky to have such a great sister-in-law. I was going to try the old hot curry for dinner theory tonight, but then someone pointed out to me that, if it really worked, all of the children in places like India would be born prematurely, so I guess it can’t really be true. On the bright side, it’s only a maximum of 8 days before Mustard will be out in the world and a part of our family. I just hope it’s sooner rather than later, but then you can’t rush these things. Next time I write in this diary, it will be to tell you all about how Mustard comes into the world, and how big she is… August 13th - The Birth! On Thursday I started getting stronger contractions and by 6pm they were coming every 6 minutes or so, and Matt decided that we’d better get Emily packed off to his mums whilst I got ready to go to hospital. So, Matt took Emily off with an overnight bag whilst I finished packing my hospital bag - very naughty, hadn’t actually started packing it at all until my due date! Shows how complacent you can get once you’ve done it all before. We got to the hospital just before 7pm and went straight up to the labour ward, where they hooked me up to the monitor to check the baby’s heartbeat and measure how strong my contractions were. At one point my contractions seemed to be stopping, so they unhooked the machine and started walking me down to the maternity ward. Halfway down the corridor, I had two huge contractions in quick succession, so we had to turn around and go back to the labour ward. I think this baby is asserting her authority already! After a while I needed gas and air, and I was disappointed that it didn’t make me feel quite as happy and high as it had done during labour with Emily. Still, it did the trick for a few hours, and then I decided I wanted an epidural, as the pain was getting a bit too much for me. I have learnt from my last labour that you don’t get any extra points for holding out against the pain, and decided that I’d rather be comfy during labour than racked with pain. Whilst the epidural was being set up, I held Matt’s hand and apparently kept saying ‘no sausages’ to him until I was told I could move again. At that point, I told Matthew that we could have sausages again now, rambled on about them for a bit longer, and then relaxed. I think I must have a sausage fixation, as I apparently ranted on about sausages during labour with Emily! Perhaps the thought of them calms me down for a reason that no-one knows - therapy here I come! We were really lucky during my labour in that, from 9pm onwards we had the same midwife with us all the way through the labour. Joy was fantastic, and sat with us virtually the whole time. She got an extra chair for Matt so that he could put his feet up and have a sleep, and sat chatting to me about anything and everything. I can honestly say that my labour was actually quite a pleasant experience for the most part, up until the point when, having broken my waters and noted that I was fully dilated, Joy said that the baby was lying back-to-back. She then went to get the specialist to look at me, and he said that, considering the circumstances - big baby, SPD, back-to-back position - I would be better off having a caesarean. He did say that, if I wanted to, they could stop my epidural and let me push for a while, but he doubted it would be successful. So, Matt and I decided that a caesarean it would have to be, and consoled ourselves with the fact that I had at least tried to give birth naturally. We were down in the operating theatre in no time at all, and I kept being sick, which is not very attractive when you’re lying down and dribbling everywhere while someone else has to clean you up. Still, all part of the joys of having a baby! Charlotte Sophie Faith came into the world at 7.12am on 8th August, weighing 9lb 9oz. They actually had to push down on my chest to encourage her to come out, which was an interesting sensation to say the least, but she came out screaming, so I knew she was alright.I remember seeing them give her to Matt to hold, and then I fell asleep. Well, I thought I did, only I was told later on that I was bleeding quite a lot, so they topped my drugs up to make me sleepy so that I wouldn’t panic about what was happening. When I came round I was still in the operating theatre, and all I could see was this rack against a wall with plastic bags containing red things in them. I convinced myself that they were foetuses hanging up there, and even thought I could make out arms, heads and legs, and became quite upset at seeing them there. Then, when I asked, someone pointed out that they were actually the swabs they’d used during the delivery. I felt really stupid at this point, although everyone seemed to find it funny. Isn’t it amazing how your brain can convince you that what you’re seeing is something completely different? I came out of hospital yesterday, having had a blood transfusion - I needed three units as my levels were quite low - and am now on iron tablets until my count goes back up. I am not able to breast feed - a combination of a very hungry baby, very sore nipples, and a lack of milk. The midwives said the milk problem probably stemmed from the trauma of losing a lot of blood and then having a transfusion, as my body couldn’t manage to produce a milk rich enough to satisfy Charlotte. I am disappointed not to be able to breastfeed, but as long as Lottie is happy and healthy, then that’s all I could really ask for.
My mum is here for the next two weeks, so we’ve got some help, and I guess we’ll see how we go from there as a family of four. I don’t think I’ll be having any more babies. I’d have to have a caesarean if I ever got pregnant again, and I don’t want to put my body through it again. I think two is enough, and if in the future Matt and I decide we’d like to extend our family, then we’ll look at adoption. One thing I will say is
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So,
I’m home safe and sound, Emily keeps calling Lottie
‘cat’ and looks like a giant to me next to her, as you
can see from the photo!
